Took George back this morning and just felt empty ever since and quite emotional. Never felt this way before. Maybe just feeling a bit lonely and having a daft moment. Was p1ssing it down and he said he was missing his mummy. Took him back but didn't want to let him go when I hugged him. Did I do right thing taking him back early? Should I have done more today?
It's great you listened to George's wishes. He must be very confused at the moment. But he's got two parents to love him and give him the best in life and plenty of children have separated parents. You'll all 3 adjust to things, it's still a very new situation
Was first time I've had him overnite. Didn't sleep much either. Just watched him breathing like I did when he was a baby. Daft I know.
You did the right thing if he said he wanted to go back and Laura was able and happy to take him. You said it was the first time you had him overnight, of course he missed his mummy, not because of anything to do with you just that it’s all so new to him and overnight is a long time to someone George’s age. Next time will be easier and the time after that etc.
Big changes for the lad and a lot of uncertainty will be running through his head. Asking for his Mum is not a reflection on you at all but natural & normal. By listening to him you’re showing him you have his interests at heart first and his anxiety will ease.
As it's the first time you probably did the right thing but I would maybe try something else next time such as letting him know you will be doing something fun together....... It isn't bribery but you have to make the most of your time together and the non resident parent is already at a massive disadvantage for the remaining years. I know the feeling well mate, its the quietness in the house that i found the worst. Something that doesn't really get any better and I'm 10 years down the line. Regular contact and communication, keep yourself included in everything such as school, doctors etc. And it is really imperative that you try and remain civil with the mother, that is critical if possible.
Mine too big now to do that! Best moment for me was going into their room at the start of the day and them standing in their cots waiting for me to lift them out! Have to make do with the dog jumping up at me instead when i go downstairs in the morning now!
You did right - try not and beat yourself up! Remember he's probably not finding this situation easy either especially if he's been somehow 'different' over the weekend. Just be there when he needs you - sure he cares for you and loved spending time with you
My Sunday night were always tough. Had some long sessions that night after I had dropped the boys off. It was tough, I never shared with then. Just put on a brave face. You have some tough times ahead ,but do what is best for the bairn evey time. I was always portrayed as the bad rat . I know I tried my best ,that's all you can do matey.
The littlest details are the ones you never realise until you no longer have access to them day in day out.
I can only post as someone who has seen your situation at a distance. I think after seeing what happened and Baz saying he was portrayed as the bad guy. My relative was cheated on and the other half portrayed em as the bad un. I'd say building a relationship with the ex is quite important. So that the child doesn't experience the friction between you both. That is evident in another family members situation. The couple don't get on but don't display it.
Finding it hard to suppress my emotion to be honest. Welling up over nothing. It was a good weekend, no mishaps.
No doubt. You are still in the infancy of this whole situation - recognising that is one thing another is coming to terms with it. It’s not easy and will take time unfortunately like anything in life it won’t change on always up trajectory but over time it will happen. Don’t be too down or hard on yourself. It’s natural.
And on a lighter note re: acceptable handovers - I would suggest any athletics relay team would qualify. P.s. You're still vulnerable and emotional and will be for a while. Bottom line is doing what's right for your child's wellbeing though. If you feel you've done right by your kiddy then that's the best you can do.
I wish I could offer you helpful advice, but I can't. However, I honestly believe you did the right thing, abiding with George's wishes. Short term pain, long term gain.
Its an awful situation mate which fortunately didn't happen to me, my daughter never asked for her mum when she was with me. They never speak to each other now by the way and my granddaughter never sees her grandma. Kids are pretty resilient and I'm sure he'll be ok.
Not one for gerrin involved in Domestics, i wish you both well, and hope it stays amicable, but i would advise you to see a Doctor from your comments i think you could be suffering with a bit of depression better to ger it sorted early doors. Good luck Stephen, seperation is never easy, especially when youngens are involved. x
