I need your opinions

OxRed · Apr 27, 2025 at 5:16 PM

YT said: ↑

I always felt that I wouldn’t ever go back to blogging, podcasting, YouTube, whatever. I’d just done nearly a decade inside the game and the last thing I wanted, having chosen to leave that life behind was to create Barnsley FC content. But across this season, friends have suggested I should get back into it. And I have to admit, in recent weeks I’ve had an itch that perhaps needs scratching.

So what better place to garner opinion than the place where I first shared my drivel many years ago…

If I was to create a new blog, YouTube channel, podcast, something along those lines this summer, would it be something you’d be interested in? I’m very conscious that over the last 10 years, these spaces have been filled by some great people and I certainly wouldn’t want to take anything away from them.

I’ve no idea what it would like at this stage.

Please be honest. Let me know if there’s an appetite for something new.

Appreciated. X
Click to expand...

If you feel that you have something worthwhile to say then we’re listening. History suggests that it’ll be worth our time.

YT · Apr 27, 2025 at 5:28 PM

Thanks for the warm reception to the idea. I appreciate the kind words and supportive comments.

I look forward to folk smashing it to bits when they realise it’s too positive, too light hearted and not demanding Mladen’s head on a spike.

Hopefully get something together before pre-season. I just need to work out what, how, when and all that jazz.

Again, really appreciate the feedback.

Chef Tyke · Apr 27, 2025 at 5:30 PM

Definitely mate. go for it .

Deafening Silence · Apr 27, 2025 at 5:41 PM

YT said: ↑

Thanks for the warm reception to the idea. I appreciate the kind words and supportive comments.

I look forward to folk smashing it to bits when they realise it’s too positive, too light hearted and not demanding Mladen’s head on a spike.

Hopefully get something together before pre-season. I just need to work out what, how, when and all that jazz.

Again, really appreciate the feedback.
Click to expand...

Maybe get a BBS member on every week for their opinion...

ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon · Apr 27, 2025 at 6:26 PM

YT said: ↑

This is long-winded (shock). Trying to cover this question and other comments after it. Maybe would have been better served as the first blog post.

I chose to leave, Paul. I no longer enjoyed the job and it had started to negatively impact my personal life and both my physical and mental health.

At the point that I called time on it, I was close to being 14 stone in weight (having never been above 12 in my entire life). I had just been through a course of antibiotics for a huge boil on the back of my neck (literally the size of a golf ball). I was drinking pretty heavily. I barely saw my friends, had little time with the family and was just stuck in a rut. I'd often leave the house at 7.30am, be sat on the M62 for an hour, angry, frustrated, depressed. I'd often leave the office at 6pm or later, but always in the knowledge that you're always 'on call' in that role. Again, I'd be in traffic and angry. I'd head to the off-license on the way home and grab some cans. I'd order a takeaway, crack open a beer and open the laptop, do more work. Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. Rinse and repeat, for a good 12 months. If I got an email or text from anyone at work, my mind would immediately be 'f*** off'. Trust me, I was in a very dark place and it's scary how fast you can fall into such a hole and how long it takes for you to realise/accept it.

The hours hadn't changed. Nor the expectation. I was paid more than I'd ever been. Nobody at Barnsley FC had caused it. Some people will be disappointed to read that, but I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the place, the people there and I left on good terms. I mean, I was given a guard of honour by colleagues as I left the office one final time. Which was both weird as f*** and lovely, looking back. A few weeks later, I came back to the town and with about 20 colleagues (from all departments), enjoyed some food and a couple of beers, reminiscing, saying goodbye etc. That was partly down to the fact that I'd kept my departure a secret, and 99% of folk only found out the day that I left. Because I didn't want the fuss, nor did I want anyone trying to change my mind. It was the right thing to do, considering two or three people cried when I told them that Friday. I knew I had to leave because (thank God) I knew I wasn't in a good place.

The reason I was drinking heavily? The reason my mental and physical health was suffering? The reason I had no time for friends and family? My job. That's the conclusion I came to. And I knew I couldn't get another job straight away. Regardless of income, I needed a few months to reset and step back. Life is full-on. But I saw an opportunity to manufacture a pause of sorts. And so I had eight weeks of me time. Eight weeks seeing friends, getting to know my missus again, re-finding myself basically. It was a period I will always look back on now as the most important couple of months of my life. Because within no time at all, it became clear that I'd made the right decision and that yes, it was the job.

Fast forward to 2025 and I've had less than 10 pints of beer since leaving Barnsley. In essence, it has to be a pretty special occasion for me to order an alcoholic drink. I work out four times a week and now weigh 11st 11lbs, with actual muscles. I feel healthier than I ever have. I've taken up new hobbies. And in terms of employment, I turned down plenty of opportunities to remain in sport because I wanted to work in the charity sector. Which is what I now do, earning the same sort of money without a commute, in a hybrid role and actually enjoying the work that I do once again. I get an enormous sense of purpose, of fulfilment. I used to love the community work we did at Barnsley. When you see kids' faces when you introduce them to Cauley Woodrow or whatever. Little things like that. Knowing the work you do is positively impacting others is worth more than just the salary each month.

I will always thank Jon Flatman especially. Because he supported me through that dark period when others possibly wouldn't have, and like I've said, I don't have anything bad to say about anyone at the club. If anything, I wish I had been better in that last year in particular because if I didn't enjoy being myself back then, I imagine I wasn't great to be around. But I'd lost a handful of close colleagues in that time, people who were more than just colleagues, Beth especially and I suppose I just got lost. Thankfully, I found myself again and whilst this season for the club has been a proper disaster, and I've knocked certain players, performances and the club's lack of engagement, it has felt 'right' to me. As in, I feel like a supporter again. Back where I started. Not a happy one. Who would be after the last nine months? But I care about it. I always will.

If I did decide to return to the world of content creation, people will need to appreciate I wouldn't be attacking individuals. There would never be calls for anyone's head. I didn't do that prior to working at BFC, so there's absolutely no way I'd be doing that now. And looking at the current crowd of BFC 'content creators' I think at least one of those channels has that covered. I mean, if Elon Musk bought the club, maybe I'd change my mind. But you get my point. And me saying I don't rate Sam Cosgrove doesn't come under the umbrella of 'attacking'. Pretty much like him.
I do have a little book though, of all the former players I built a relationship with. So there'd likely be some chats with them. I love the history of the club, so yeah, I expect I'd focus on that where possible. I love writing (typing), as this post will show. So I expect it'll be a blog of some sort. But it's early days and I'm really not sure what it looks like at this stage. I liked doing the 'not a podcast' thing back in the day. I enjoy the humour of football. Eyup n Down make me chuckle, just as West Stand Bogs did before it. I dunno. I'll go away and see what I come up with.

And to finish, anyone who works in the game doing certain roles will, upon leaving, sign an NDA. So there's lots of things I will never divulge. But that's not what this is about. I feel like I'm back where I belong, just a fan like anyone else and want to scratch that itch again, of talking about the Reds. I love Barnsley FC. Why would I ever try and harm it? I like to think I helped it over the years. There are things in place there that I started. Just at the weekend for example, the Reds Remembered roll-call. The Hall of Fame. Alumni. The memorial wall. Naming the stands. All things I helped implement. I'm proud that I played a small part in my club's 138-year history. However, I was also the person who said 'yes, tweet it' to one of my staff when they showed me a tweet idea at full-time against Port Vale in 2023, saying 'SiGn A sTrIkEr' or whatever it was. Yep. We're all human. We all f*** up. And excel (one for James).
Click to expand...

Beautiful post.

Like others have said, do what makes you happy

You have a very reasoned perspective of the club which - on the whole - I enjoy reading.

YT · Apr 27, 2025 at 6:36 PM

Deafening Silence said: ↑

Maybe get a BBS member on every week for their opinion...
Click to expand...

On a serious note, it’s not a bad idea.

If I do end up doing a podcast or video type thing, it’d be good to have one or two others. Hard to carry it one-handed.

judith charmers · Apr 27, 2025 at 6:46 PM

YT said: ↑

I always felt that I wouldn’t ever go back to blogging, podcasting, YouTube, whatever. I’d just done nearly a decade inside the game and the last thing I wanted, having chosen to leave that life behind was to create Barnsley FC content. But across this season, friends have suggested I should get back into it. And I have to admit, in recent weeks I’ve had an itch that perhaps needs scratching.

So what better place to garner opinion than the place where I first shared my drivel many years ago…

If I was to create a new blog, YouTube channel, podcast, something along those lines this summer, would it be something you’d be interested in? I’m very conscious that over the last 10 years, these spaces have been filled by some great people and I certainly wouldn’t want to take anything away from them.

I’ve no idea what it would like at this stage.

Please be honest. Let me know if there’s an appetite for something new.

Appreciated. X
Click to expand...

I think a BBS version as a podcast would be great tbh, do it, never have an idea and don’t follow it through

RichK · Apr 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM

These days I don't watch or listen to any BFC/football/podcasts etc or any online media content, I find it dull and trite, OTT, or just plain silly.

But, I do remember some of your previous stuff, it was decent content, you're an engaging fella. So, yh, get on with it.

55&counting · Apr 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM

YT said: ↑

I always felt that I wouldn’t ever go back to blogging, podcasting, YouTube, whatever. I’d just done nearly a decade inside the game and the last thing I wanted, having chosen to leave that life behind was to create Barnsley FC content. But across this season, friends have suggested I should get back into it. And I have to admit, in recent weeks I’ve had an itch that perhaps needs scratching.

So what better place to garner opinion than the place where I first shared my drivel many years ago…

If I was to create a new blog, YouTube channel, podcast, something along those lines this summer, would it be something you’d be interested in? I’m very conscious that over the last 10 years, these spaces have been filled by some great people and I certainly wouldn’t want to take anything away from them.

I’ve no idea what it would like at this stage.

Please be honest. Let me know if there’s an appetite for something new.

Appreciated. X
Click to expand...

100% do it. 100%!!!

JLWBigLil · Apr 27, 2025 at 7:21 PM

YT said: ↑

I always felt that I wouldn’t ever go back to blogging, podcasting, YouTube, whatever. I’d just done nearly a decade inside the game and the last thing I wanted, having chosen to leave that life behind was to create Barnsley FC content. But across this season, friends have suggested I should get back into it. And I have to admit, in recent weeks I’ve had an itch that perhaps needs scratching.

So what better place to garner opinion than the place where I first shared my drivel many years ago…

If I was to create a new blog, YouTube channel, podcast, something along those lines this summer, would it be something you’d be interested in? I’m very conscious that over the last 10 years, these spaces have been filled by some great people and I certainly wouldn’t want to take anything away from them.

I’ve no idea what it would like at this stage.

Please be honest. Let me know if there’s an appetite for something new.

Appreciated. X
Click to expand...

Brilliant idea, Andy, old mate. Go for it.

Hooky feller · Apr 27, 2025 at 7:57 PM

YT said: ↑

This is long-winded (shock). Trying to cover this question and other comments after it. Maybe would have been better served as the first blog post.

I chose to leave, Paul. I no longer enjoyed the job and it had started to negatively impact my personal life and both my physical and mental health.

At the point that I called time on it, I was close to being 14 stone in weight (having never been above 12 in my entire life). I had just been through a course of antibiotics for a huge boil on the back of my neck (literally the size of a golf ball). I was drinking pretty heavily. I barely saw my friends, had little time with the family and was just stuck in a rut. I'd often leave the house at 7.30am, be sat on the M62 for an hour, angry, frustrated, depressed. I'd often leave the office at 6pm or later, but always in the knowledge that you're always 'on call' in that role. Again, I'd be in traffic and angry. I'd head to the off-license on the way home and grab some cans. I'd order a takeaway, crack open a beer and open the laptop, do more work. Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. Rinse and repeat, for a good 12 months. If I got an email or text from anyone at work, my mind would immediately be 'f*** off'. Trust me, I was in a very dark place and it's scary how fast you can fall into such a hole and how long it takes for you to realise/accept it.

The hours hadn't changed. Nor the expectation. I was paid more than I'd ever been. Nobody at Barnsley FC had caused it. Some people will be disappointed to read that, but I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the place, the people there and I left on good terms. I mean, I was given a guard of honour by colleagues as I left the office one final time. Which was both weird as f*** and lovely, looking back. A few weeks later, I came back to the town and with about 20 colleagues (from all departments), enjoyed some food and a couple of beers, reminiscing, saying goodbye etc. That was partly down to the fact that I'd kept my departure a secret, and 99% of folk only found out the day that I left. Because I didn't want the fuss, nor did I want anyone trying to change my mind. It was the right thing to do, considering two or three people cried when I told them that Friday. I knew I had to leave because (thank God) I knew I wasn't in a good place.

The reason I was drinking heavily? The reason my mental and physical health was suffering? The reason I had no time for friends and family? My job. That's the conclusion I came to. And I knew I couldn't get another job straight away. Regardless of income, I needed a few months to reset and step back. Life is full-on. But I saw an opportunity to manufacture a pause of sorts. And so I had eight weeks of me time. Eight weeks seeing friends, getting to know my missus again, re-finding myself basically. It was a period I will always look back on now as the most important couple of months of my life. Because within no time at all, it became clear that I'd made the right decision and that yes, it was the job.

Fast forward to 2025 and I've had less than 10 pints of beer since leaving Barnsley. In essence, it has to be a pretty special occasion for me to order an alcoholic drink. I work out four times a week and now weigh 11st 11lbs, with actual muscles. I feel healthier than I ever have. I've taken up new hobbies. And in terms of employment, I turned down plenty of opportunities to remain in sport because I wanted to work in the charity sector. Which is what I now do, earning the same sort of money without a commute, in a hybrid role and actually enjoying the work that I do once again. I get an enormous sense of purpose, of fulfilment. I used to love the community work we did at Barnsley. When you see kids' faces when you introduce them to Cauley Woodrow or whatever. Little things like that. Knowing the work you do is positively impacting others is worth more than just the salary each month.

I will always thank Jon Flatman especially. Because he supported me through that dark period when others possibly wouldn't have, and like I've said, I don't have anything bad to say about anyone at the club. If anything, I wish I had been better in that last year in particular because if I didn't enjoy being myself back then, I imagine I wasn't great to be around. But I'd lost a handful of close colleagues in that time, people who were more than just colleagues, Beth especially and I suppose I just got lost. Thankfully, I found myself again and whilst this season for the club has been a proper disaster, and I've knocked certain players, performances and the club's lack of engagement, it has felt 'right' to me. As in, I feel like a supporter again. Back where I started. Not a happy one. Who would be after the last nine months? But I care about it. I always will.

If I did decide to return to the world of content creation, people will need to appreciate I wouldn't be attacking individuals. There would never be calls for anyone's head. I didn't do that prior to working at BFC, so there's absolutely no way I'd be doing that now. And looking at the current crowd of BFC 'content creators' I think at least one of those channels has that covered. I mean, if Elon Musk bought the club, maybe I'd change my mind. But you get my point. And me saying I don't rate Sam Cosgrove doesn't come under the umbrella of 'attacking'. Pretty much like him.
I do have a little book though, of all the former players I built a relationship with. So there'd likely be some chats with them. I love the history of the club, so yeah, I expect I'd focus on that where possible. I love writing (typing), as this post will show. So I expect it'll be a blog of some sort. But it's early days and I'm really not sure what it looks like at this stage. I liked doing the 'not a podcast' thing back in the day. I enjoy the humour of football. Eyup n Down make me chuckle, just as West Stand Bogs did before it. I dunno. I'll go away and see what I come up with.

And to finish, anyone who works in the game doing certain roles will, upon leaving, sign an NDA. So there's lots of things I will never divulge. But that's not what this is about. I feel like I'm back where I belong, just a fan like anyone else and want to scratch that itch again, of talking about the Reds. I love Barnsley FC. Why would I ever try and harm it? I like to think I helped it over the years. There are things in place there that I started. Just at the weekend for example, the Reds Remembered roll-call. The Hall of Fame. Alumni. The memorial wall. Naming the stands. All things I helped implement. I'm proud that I played a small part in my club's 138-year history. However, I was also the person who said 'yes, tweet it' to one of my staff when they showed me a tweet idea at full-time against Port Vale in 2023, saying 'SiGn A sTrIkEr' or whatever it was. Yep. We're all human. We all f*** up. And excel (one for James).
Click to expand...

Thanks for the honest reply Andy. I think you know me well enough to know I always try to be honest and critical of the club when I attend meetings. When i need be, In the best interest of the fans. But also the club. It's the union man in me. But more to the point. a reply that needed saying to clear up the rumours. So good on you. And I hope the rumours can be put to bed as the stigma stuck around.
I wish you well in your new role. And any future projects you describe.

It's well documented on here how I got to a dark place at YW. And suffered mentally. And now I'm retired I can open up and let rip. It helps the soul. Not the case with you as the reply indicates.

Enjoying work is far more important than money. And fortunately I too got paid a decent salary. Not a fortune by any means but enough to give me a life I was comfortable with.

Hooky feller · Apr 27, 2025 at 8:06 PM

Andy Mac said: ↑

My understanding is there was an incident in the staff canteen where YT thought he was using the shared salad cream when in fact he was using the bottle clearly marked "Mladen's" in felt tip and from that day his days were numbered.

I know what you are thinking "Don't be daft Andy; Mladen hasn't been near a salad in years".......... but only going on what I heard

ITK
Click to expand...

Ey up Andy Lol. The man (mladen) must be adopting a Barnsley lifestyle. Salad dodging.
(Rabbit food is only good for rabbits does bugger all for my sex life)

Micky Finn · Apr 27, 2025 at 8:10 PM

Hooky feller said: ↑

Ey up Andy Lol. The man (mladen) must be adopting a Barnsley lifestyle. Salad dodging.
(Rabbit food is only good for rabbits does bugger all for my sex life)
Click to expand...

He just eats the whole jar of salad cream. Maybe with a token lettuce leaf for garnish, like.

Hooky feller · Apr 27, 2025 at 8:25 PM

Micky Finn said: ↑

He just eats the whole jar of salad cream. Maybe with a token lettuce leaf for garnish, like.
Click to expand...

Ah. Salad cream on chips C. Not that I like the stuff. lol. Never a substitute for gravy.

Dalestykes · Apr 27, 2025 at 9:22 PM

YT said: ↑

This is long-winded (shock). Trying to cover this question and other comments after it. Maybe would have been better served as the first blog post.

I chose to leave, Paul. I no longer enjoyed the job and it had started to negatively impact my personal life and both my physical and mental health.

At the point that I called time on it, I was close to being 14 stone in weight (having never been above 12 in my entire life). I had just been through a course of antibiotics for a huge boil on the back of my neck (literally the size of a golf ball). I was drinking pretty heavily. I barely saw my friends, had little time with the family and was just stuck in a rut. I'd often leave the house at 7.30am, be sat on the M62 for an hour, angry, frustrated, depressed. I'd often leave the office at 6pm or later, but always in the knowledge that you're always 'on call' in that role. Again, I'd be in traffic and angry. I'd head to the off-license on the way home and grab some cans. I'd order a takeaway, crack open a beer and open the laptop, do more work. Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. Rinse and repeat, for a good 12 months. If I got an email or text from anyone at work, my mind would immediately be 'f*** off'. Trust me, I was in a very dark place and it's scary how fast you can fall into such a hole and how long it takes for you to realise/accept it.

The hours hadn't changed. Nor the expectation. I was paid more than I'd ever been. Nobody at Barnsley FC had caused it. Some people will be disappointed to read that, but I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the place, the people there and I left on good terms. I mean, I was given a guard of honour by colleagues as I left the office one final time. Which was both weird as f*** and lovely, looking back. A few weeks later, I came back to the town and with about 20 colleagues (from all departments), enjoyed some food and a couple of beers, reminiscing, saying goodbye etc. That was partly down to the fact that I'd kept my departure a secret, and 99% of folk only found out the day that I left. Because I didn't want the fuss, nor did I want anyone trying to change my mind. It was the right thing to do, considering two or three people cried when I told them that Friday. I knew I had to leave because (thank God) I knew I wasn't in a good place.

The reason I was drinking heavily? The reason my mental and physical health was suffering? The reason I had no time for friends and family? My job. That's the conclusion I came to. And I knew I couldn't get another job straight away. Regardless of income, I needed a few months to reset and step back. Life is full-on. But I saw an opportunity to manufacture a pause of sorts. And so I had eight weeks of me time. Eight weeks seeing friends, getting to know my missus again, re-finding myself basically. It was a period I will always look back on now as the most important couple of months of my life. Because within no time at all, it became clear that I'd made the right decision and that yes, it was the job.

Fast forward to 2025 and I've had less than 10 pints of beer since leaving Barnsley. In essence, it has to be a pretty special occasion for me to order an alcoholic drink. I work out four times a week and now weigh 11st 11lbs, with actual muscles. I feel healthier than I ever have. I've taken up new hobbies. And in terms of employment, I turned down plenty of opportunities to remain in sport because I wanted to work in the charity sector. Which is what I now do, earning the same sort of money without a commute, in a hybrid role and actually enjoying the work that I do once again. I get an enormous sense of purpose, of fulfilment. I used to love the community work we did at Barnsley. When you see kids' faces when you introduce them to Cauley Woodrow or whatever. Little things like that. Knowing the work you do is positively impacting others is worth more than just the salary each month.

I will always thank Jon Flatman especially. Because he supported me through that dark period when others possibly wouldn't have, and like I've said, I don't have anything bad to say about anyone at the club. If anything, I wish I had been better in that last year in particular because if I didn't enjoy being myself back then, I imagine I wasn't great to be around. But I'd lost a handful of close colleagues in that time, people who were more than just colleagues, Beth especially and I suppose I just got lost. Thankfully, I found myself again and whilst this season for the club has been a proper disaster, and I've knocked certain players, performances and the club's lack of engagement, it has felt 'right' to me. As in, I feel like a supporter again. Back where I started. Not a happy one. Who would be after the last nine months? But I care about it. I always will.

If I did decide to return to the world of content creation, people will need to appreciate I wouldn't be attacking individuals. There would never be calls for anyone's head. I didn't do that prior to working at BFC, so there's absolutely no way I'd be doing that now. And looking at the current crowd of BFC 'content creators' I think at least one of those channels has that covered. I mean, if Elon Musk bought the club, maybe I'd change my mind. But you get my point. And me saying I don't rate Sam Cosgrove doesn't come under the umbrella of 'attacking'. Pretty much like him.
I do have a little book though, of all the former players I built a relationship with. So there'd likely be some chats with them. I love the history of the club, so yeah, I expect I'd focus on that where possible. I love writing (typing), as this post will show. So I expect it'll be a blog of some sort. But it's early days and I'm really not sure what it looks like at this stage. I liked doing the 'not a podcast' thing back in the day. I enjoy the humour of football. Eyup n Down make me chuckle, just as West Stand Bogs did before it. I dunno. I'll go away and see what I come up with.

And to finish, anyone who works in the game doing certain roles will, upon leaving, sign an NDA. So there's lots of things I will never divulge. But that's not what this is about. I feel like I'm back where I belong, just a fan like anyone else and want to scratch that itch again, of talking about the Reds. I love Barnsley FC. Why would I ever try and harm it? I like to think I helped it over the years. There are things in place there that I started. Just at the weekend for example, the Reds Remembered roll-call. The Hall of Fame. Alumni. The memorial wall. Naming the stands. All things I helped implement. I'm proud that I played a small part in my club's 138-year history. However, I was also the person who said 'yes, tweet it' to one of my staff when they showed me a tweet idea at full-time against Port Vale in 2023, saying 'SiGn A sTrIkEr' or whatever it was. Yep. We're all human. We all f*** up. And excel (one for James).
Click to expand...

That’s a very honest piece. Fair play.
As for your original question - yes. But could you leave it until at last August. We just need a bit of a break from all the rubbish that is BFC currently.

AthersleyRed · Apr 27, 2025 at 11:32 PM

Nothing really replaced the "Luke era" of TykesTV for me, so go for it!

icer · Apr 28, 2025 at 6:08 AM

It appears this itch is more for you than anyone else. As such you need to be sure its what you want to do especially as you have broken out of the BFC pressure cooker and in a different way this might push you back. Social media is a bit different now than 10 years ago (i note you used ‘content creator’) full of influencers and micro influencers and and and …. The critics, keyboard warriors and threats.

So be sure you want to do it. Not for the fans or audience, but for you. If you do maybe start with something different a blog might be good reading as its a missing niche. But if you want your voice and face upfront and visible then go ahead. Your last ‘season’ podcast was good but time has moved on and so have you. Be sure you want it and if you do then I’m sure it will be great.

BarnsleyReds · Apr 28, 2025 at 7:24 AM

YT said: ↑

This is long-winded (shock). Trying to cover this question and other comments after it. Maybe would have been better served as the first blog post.

I chose to leave, Paul. I no longer enjoyed the job and it had started to negatively impact my personal life and both my physical and mental health.

At the point that I called time on it, I was close to being 14 stone in weight (having never been above 12 in my entire life). I had just been through a course of antibiotics for a huge boil on the back of my neck (literally the size of a golf ball). I was drinking pretty heavily. I barely saw my friends, had little time with the family and was just stuck in a rut. I'd often leave the house at 7.30am, be sat on the M62 for an hour, angry, frustrated, depressed. I'd often leave the office at 6pm or later, but always in the knowledge that you're always 'on call' in that role. Again, I'd be in traffic and angry. I'd head to the off-license on the way home and grab some cans. I'd order a takeaway, crack open a beer and open the laptop, do more work. Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. Rinse and repeat, for a good 12 months. If I got an email or text from anyone at work, my mind would immediately be 'f*** off'. Trust me, I was in a very dark place and it's scary how fast you can fall into such a hole and how long it takes for you to realise/accept it.

The hours hadn't changed. Nor the expectation. I was paid more than I'd ever been. Nobody at Barnsley FC had caused it. Some people will be disappointed to read that, but I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the place, the people there and I left on good terms. I mean, I was given a guard of honour by colleagues as I left the office one final time. Which was both weird as f*** and lovely, looking back. A few weeks later, I came back to the town and with about 20 colleagues (from all departments), enjoyed some food and a couple of beers, reminiscing, saying goodbye etc. That was partly down to the fact that I'd kept my departure a secret, and 99% of folk only found out the day that I left. Because I didn't want the fuss, nor did I want anyone trying to change my mind. It was the right thing to do, considering two or three people cried when I told them that Friday. I knew I had to leave because (thank God) I knew I wasn't in a good place.

The reason I was drinking heavily? The reason my mental and physical health was suffering? The reason I had no time for friends and family? My job. That's the conclusion I came to. And I knew I couldn't get another job straight away. Regardless of income, I needed a few months to reset and step back. Life is full-on. But I saw an opportunity to manufacture a pause of sorts. And so I had eight weeks of me time. Eight weeks seeing friends, getting to know my missus again, re-finding myself basically. It was a period I will always look back on now as the most important couple of months of my life. Because within no time at all, it became clear that I'd made the right decision and that yes, it was the job.

Fast forward to 2025 and I've had less than 10 pints of beer since leaving Barnsley. In essence, it has to be a pretty special occasion for me to order an alcoholic drink. I work out four times a week and now weigh 11st 11lbs, with actual muscles. I feel healthier than I ever have. I've taken up new hobbies. And in terms of employment, I turned down plenty of opportunities to remain in sport because I wanted to work in the charity sector. Which is what I now do, earning the same sort of money without a commute, in a hybrid role and actually enjoying the work that I do once again. I get an enormous sense of purpose, of fulfilment. I used to love the community work we did at Barnsley. When you see kids' faces when you introduce them to Cauley Woodrow or whatever. Little things like that. Knowing the work you do is positively impacting others is worth more than just the salary each month.

I will always thank Jon Flatman especially. Because he supported me through that dark period when others possibly wouldn't have, and like I've said, I don't have anything bad to say about anyone at the club. If anything, I wish I had been better in that last year in particular because if I didn't enjoy being myself back then, I imagine I wasn't great to be around. But I'd lost a handful of close colleagues in that time, people who were more than just colleagues, Beth especially and I suppose I just got lost. Thankfully, I found myself again and whilst this season for the club has been a proper disaster, and I've knocked certain players, performances and the club's lack of engagement, it has felt 'right' to me. As in, I feel like a supporter again. Back where I started. Not a happy one. Who would be after the last nine months? But I care about it. I always will.

If I did decide to return to the world of content creation, people will need to appreciate I wouldn't be attacking individuals. There would never be calls for anyone's head. I didn't do that prior to working at BFC, so there's absolutely no way I'd be doing that now. And looking at the current crowd of BFC 'content creators' I think at least one of those channels has that covered. I mean, if Elon Musk bought the club, maybe I'd change my mind. But you get my point. And me saying I don't rate Sam Cosgrove doesn't come under the umbrella of 'attacking'. Pretty much like him.
I do have a little book though, of all the former players I built a relationship with. So there'd likely be some chats with them. I love the history of the club, so yeah, I expect I'd focus on that where possible. I love writing (typing), as this post will show. So I expect it'll be a blog of some sort. But it's early days and I'm really not sure what it looks like at this stage. I liked doing the 'not a podcast' thing back in the day. I enjoy the humour of football. Eyup n Down make me chuckle, just as West Stand Bogs did before it. I dunno. I'll go away and see what I come up with.

And to finish, anyone who works in the game doing certain roles will, upon leaving, sign an NDA. So there's lots of things I will never divulge. But that's not what this is about. I feel like I'm back where I belong, just a fan like anyone else and want to scratch that itch again, of talking about the Reds. I love Barnsley FC. Why would I ever try and harm it? I like to think I helped it over the years. There are things in place there that I started. Just at the weekend for example, the Reds Remembered roll-call. The Hall of Fame. Alumni. The memorial wall. Naming the stands. All things I helped implement. I'm proud that I played a small part in my club's 138-year history. However, I was also the person who said 'yes, tweet it' to one of my staff when they showed me a tweet idea at full-time against Port Vale in 2023, saying 'SiGn A sTrIkEr' or whatever it was. Yep. We're all human. We all f*** up. And excel (one for James).
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FFS YT. At least pretend there's some juicy drama that you'll reveal in your videos to get people to watch.

Brush · Apr 28, 2025 at 7:44 AM

YT said: ↑

I always felt that I wouldn’t ever go back to blogging, podcasting, YouTube, whatever. I’d just done nearly a decade inside the game and the last thing I wanted, having chosen to leave that life behind was to create Barnsley FC content. But across this season, friends have suggested I should get back into it. And I have to admit, in recent weeks I’ve had an itch that perhaps needs scratching.

So what better place to garner opinion than the place where I first shared my drivel many years ago…

If I was to create a new blog, YouTube channel, podcast, something along those lines this summer, would it be something you’d be interested in? I’m very conscious that over the last 10 years, these spaces have been filled by some great people and I certainly wouldn’t want to take anything away from them.

I’ve no idea what it would like at this stage.

Please be honest. Let me know if there’s an appetite for something new.

Appreciated. X
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Go for it.

dreamboy3000 · Apr 28, 2025 at 8:44 AM

It's a saturated market with Barnsley FC related content online as it is, so it would have to be something different that stands out, like when during the pandemic Loko interviewed former players.

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