Alternative end of season awards

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by leythtyke, Apr 28, 2022.

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  1. ley

    leythtyke Well-Known Member

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    This season has been so bad, that it seems inappropriate to have a conventional end of season awards, so I thought these might be useful alternatives.

    The Carl May Head coach of the year

    Nominees: Marcus Schopp, Joe Laumann, Poya Asbaghi, Martin Devaney

    This award is named after an individual that went onto the BBC news to discuss the Prime Minsiter’s behaviour, and when asked which Tory MP should take over, responded: “you’re asking me to pick my favourite flavour of animal poo”

    Marcus Schopp can point to 45 minutes against QPR, Laumann can point to the win against Derby, while Asbaghi can look at the 8 match run of form, but there can only be one winner.

    Winner: The EFL for docking points off Derby and Reading, and keeping our hopes alive beyond Christmas

    The Phil Gridelet God-Like status of the year

    Again, there can only be one winner. Obbi Oulare made two cameo appearances, where he covered a lot of ground. But I’m sure he’s lost a bit of weight since then.

    The PFA union rep of the year

    Winner: Callum Brittain

    Having had his knives out for Schopp earlier in the season, he would later have a thinly veiled dig at Asbaghi after the Reading game. Despite praising him two weeks earlier. “We didn’t know what to do” he claimed. Maybe stop giving the ball away and don’t go to a flat back 7 would’ve been a start.

    Oh, and score the gilt edged chance at the end. “I just wanted to hit the target”. Sadly, the target was apparently an opposing defender, rather than the netted area behind the opposite goalkeeper.

    Callum of the season

    Nominees: Styles, Brittain

    An award that has significantly reduced in prestige over the last 12 months, as both highly rated wing backs from the 2020/21 season went on to become, erm… Well, I’m not sure what they became.

    Winner: No score draw

    Williams of the season

    This was nip and tuck, with Ben and Jordan both taking it in turns to win the Williams of the week award, particularly under Marcus Schopp. With both having goes at playing left wing back, despite one of them being a right back.

    Winner: One got injured, while one got out. I think we all know who the real winner is there.

    Old player of the year

    Nominees: Carlton Morris, Michal Helik

    While most clubs have a young player of the year award, Barnsley FC know better, and the data says you should have a squad that means you call out the over 25s for an award. Morris and Helik beat off stiff competition from the titanic performances of Woodrow, Cole, Frieser and Phil Gridelet.

    Winner: Carlton Morris

    Kit of the year

    Having said on various posts that I feel the kit choices were unfortunate, and didn’t want to criticise, I’m not going to pass up on this opportunity for more sarcasm.

    Having a first kit of red and white, we had two alternative kits where one clashed with red for 8% of the population, and another that clashed with white for 100%.

    Winner: The green kit for sheer wind up value when we played in it against Hudds, plus I do actually quite like it as a kit.

    Delusion of the year

    Many to choose from, but nobody was ever going to beat Khaled El-Ahmad, who by now may be considering relegation.

    General fool of the year

    Step forward Paul Conway, who not content with one disastrous spell as CEO a couple of years ago, was hungry for more. From changing the playing style, appointing Schopp and completely dismissing the concept of pre-season by overseeing the departure of all the staff. He really finished the job he started in August 2019.
     
    leythtyke, Apr 28, 2022
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  2. KFC

    KFC Well-Known Member

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    Excellent work
     
    KFC, Apr 28, 2022
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  3. She

    Sheriff Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant. Worthy of EyUp&Down, which is genuinely high praise!
     
    Sheriff, Apr 28, 2022
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  4. Redhelen

    Redhelen Well-Known Member

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    Very good @leythtyke , more entertaining than a lot of the football on display this season!
     
    Redhelen, Apr 28, 2022
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  5. John Peachy

    John Peachy Well-Known Member

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    Flatbread of the year?

    Longest queue for a flat pint?

    Worst post match interview?

    Best match day experience?
     
    John Peachy, Apr 28, 2022
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  6. red

    red24/7 Well-Known Member

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    The moving for a throw in award - sadly no player would come forward to receive it
     
    red24/7, Apr 28, 2022
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  7. red

    red24/7 Well-Known Member

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    Breaking news,Mads wins the shove someone over for no reason near the touch line and let them have a dangerous free kick award
     
    red24/7, Apr 28, 2022
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  8. Ged

    Geddiswasguud Well-Known Member

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    Best excuse for closing a stand award.
    Fire Hazzard
    Foundations
    Asbestos roof
    Holes in wooden floor
    Stewards
    Actually I've genuinely forgotten which load of sh#t was true!!
     
    Geddiswasguud, Apr 28, 2022
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  9. Ged

    Geddiswasguud Well-Known Member

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    Best excuse for not playing a player from abroad award.
    Visa
    Fitness
    Injured
    Oh Visa again
    Yep the Visa gets it !
     
    Geddiswasguud, Apr 28, 2022
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  10. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    My favourite post for a long, long time. Excellent stuff.
     
    Jay, Apr 28, 2022
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  11. red

    red24/7 Well-Known Member

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    Especially like old player of the year award ,comedy gold
     
    red24/7, Apr 28, 2022
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  12. ley

    leythtyke Well-Known Member

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    It really is. EyUp&Down wins my vote for player of the year.
     
    leythtyke, Apr 28, 2022
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  13. SouthCoastTyke

    SouthCoastTyke Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant, something to smile about at last.
     
    SouthCoastTyke, Apr 28, 2022
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  14. Jam

    Jamo Well-Known Member

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    Excellent work.

    I note that you missed the "Best time we sat back when we took the lead before conceding a late equaliser" award but a. There'd be too many options and b. It'd be a bit too depressing
     
    Jamo, Apr 28, 2022
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  15. Fon

    Fonzie Well-Known Member

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    Thread Of The Year:

    Nominations - this one.
     
    Fonzie, Apr 28, 2022
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  16. Loko the Tyke

    Loko the Tyke Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    The Daniel Nardiello 'Playing for a New Contract' Award

    Awarded to those who show a burst of form from February onwards to force a new contract.

    Nominees: Nobody

    Conclusion: They're all rubbish. Get rid.
     
    Loko the Tyke, Apr 28, 2022
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  17. red

    redrum Well-Known Member

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    Great work although i feel like fool of the season for buying a season ticket to watch the dross served up week in week out.
     
    redrum, Apr 28, 2022
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  18. Cun

    Cunning Stunt Well-Known Member

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    High praise indeed. And high sixes to to the OP.
     
    Cunning Stunt, Apr 29, 2022
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  19. ley

    leythtyke Well-Known Member

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    I was only watching on TV in midweek and was wondering what I was doing. But I’d still say the fools are the ones that got us into this mess. Not the ones that had to witness it.
     
    leythtyke, Apr 29, 2022
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  20. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    The vaginal forked tongued award...
    And the winner is ....
    Paul Conway
    The biggest tw#t we've ever come across at oakwell for a long time
     
    shed131, Apr 29, 2022
    #20
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