NerveTag has identified a new variant of Covid 19. It is believed to be 100% more infectious across all age groups and may result in a far higher mortality rate. Boris Johnson will therefore announce the introduction of Tier 10 across the whole country. “Tier 10 will not only biff the virus on the nose but make life jolly simple as well,” said Johnson. “From tomorrow no one will be allowed out of their homes. The only exception will be one 30-minute shopping trip every 14 days. And thanks to my glorious No Deal, there will be no panic buying as there’s nothing left to buy.” Government officials emphasised that vaccination ID must be carried while outdoors and that HealthCorp patrols would carry out more spot checks. Ministers refused to say what penalties would be imposed. Johnson also stressed that Tier 8 measures introduced in Spring 2021 would continue. The Tier 8 ‘Community Cleansing Campaign’ saw areas of towns suspected of being virus hotspots burned to the ground in order to provide a firebreak aimed at stopping the virus. While this ‘de-housing’ led to hundreds of thousands seeking refuge in countryside, woods and hills, Government sources claimed that very few had died as a result of the cleansing. “And they would have died of the virus in any case,” said one spokesperson. With temperatures soaring above 40C the PM rejoiced that those living out in the open “were at last enjoying a spiffing and well-deserved holiday” while “feasting on nuts, berries and luscious grass.” In other news… The People’s Government Army is confident that rebellions by enemies of the people in a handful of northern towns will be surpressed in the next few days. After heavy fighting The PGA has retaken Dover and large areas of Birmingham thanks to NerveTag’s approval of the use of NerveAgent. Keir Starmer remains in a stable condition in hospital after a suspected poisoning that saw him collapse in the House of Commons. The Government denies any involvement. A YouGove poll shows Boris Johnson’s popularity rating has soared to 98%. It’s thought this is in response to news of next week’s referendum on what further offences should be covered by the Tier 9 death penalty. And finally… STAY HOME. STAY SAFE. STAY ALIVE.
Apart from Boris the Clown won't be making any PM announcements next summer. If he hasn't resigned, he'll be pushed out
its depressed me reading it,I am going for Barnsley town centre is packed as Barnsley fc finally have open top bus tour to celebrate promotion to Premier League, the celebration's is thanks to how well vaccines have worked
Well that would be true if not for the events of March 2021. After undertaking much needed changes to the constitution, Johnson is able to appoint himself 'Lord High Protector of the British People.' It's a lifetime appointment.
Don't forget your Certificate Of Vaccination ID. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-9080861/Freedom-passports-best-way-save-businesses.html
as a side nowt .just walked my pup outside in rain, did nothing came home and she weed in house,that in one line sums up 2020, in 2021 she will be fully house trained and running on a beach on holiday somewhere
