Hilarious/embarrassing moments

Stayed in Southend, one away match weekend. Bus load on us ( mixed with wives etc. I'd organized it) Back at the hotel late one of the nights. Some of the lads rolled in around midnight. We were sat at bottom of the stairs. Partaking in a bit of late refreshment. One of the lads was blind drunk. The others threw him in a wheelchair. They didn't know what room he was in. But someone shouted I think his room number is ?. His mate was still out and had got the only key. So they asked the night staff if they would let them into his room to put him to bed. Duly undressed him and left him to sleep it off.
20 minutes later this owd lass came downstairs. Screaming " there,s a NAKED man in my bed" her husband not knowing whether to laugh or cry said "she's very upset". Whilst pissing himself laughing inside. Our lass and all those we were sat with at the time were trying to hide their faces. Whilst pissing themselves. Whilst silly bugger me spent the next hour trying to sort it out. Apologizing profusely. The good thing was although they weren't with our party. They were visiting family and were from Worsbro. Which broke the ice. At least with the husband.
Same night. same lad. His mates who he originally went out with gave his brand new trainers what he'd gone out in. To an homeless man. Threw him in a taxi with those that brought him back to the hotel. ( Which I was not aware of, the trainers ie. till we were going to set off home on the bus) He was sat in front of me and r lass with his best mate. And all he kept saying was " Am bloody sure I fetched mi best trainers darn wi mi' his roommate saying "i only remember thi coming darn in what that's got on"

 

my most embarrassing moment was the 1st time i met my (now ex) mam n dad, long shift at work, followed by a long drive to carlisle and they run a pub too,
i can honestly say i probably had 3 or 4 pints at most, woke up middle of the night busting for a piss, 3 storey pub and not a clue where bog was, my 1st thought was to use the main pub karzy, and i set the alarm off!
legged it upstairs and couldn't remember what floor nevermind room i was in, ended up stood outside her mam n dads room stark bollock naked with them looking at me thinking WTF!
still can't remember if i had a piss either!

 

This would be a good thread to repeat my net curtain story from 2008, 12 years old now, will copy and paste it tomorrow.........

 

was gonna post something but can half guess the story so won't steel your thunder ;-)
and even if it's skool holidays you're "12 years old now" gerra bed!

 

Another one from me. As a teenager. I got up one morning.
My mam says "what were you doing last night."
Me "Why mam"
Mam " Well you know that chair at the side of my bed with the clock on."
Me " Yes mam"
Mam " Ya come and pissed all over it"
Glad it wasn't an electric clock.
My dad was partial to pissing int wardrobe or drawers on occasion.
For those who say you've never done owt like that. "How would you know if someone didn't tell yer" Ever wondered what that funny smell might be next morning.
My lads mate stopped over one night and slept on the settee. He wouldn't bugger off till teatime or shift off the settee. Only when he did go did I realise why, ( No explanation needed) it was a cloth settee n'all.

 

About time this had another airing

 

i once pissed both up n down on bunk beds ;-)
and once in the wife's make up bag, cost a fortune to replace, following week step daughter put her "nearly empty" make up bag in bathroom hoping for a repeat!