From Owlstalk. This is genuinely very funny.

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Mr Badger, Mar 20, 2021.

  1. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Well done Lord Snooty, you made me laugh.

    Can't post the link but it's the one headlined Barnsley v Wednesday OMDT.

    And it's a growing thread.
     
  2. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Why can't you post the link?
     
  3. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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  4. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    Was just thinking about that. Very, very funny preview. Their predicted formation is particularly excellent. One thing about the team on the field being awful is that the quality of the terrace or Internet humour increases with direct inverse proportion to the shitness of the football.
     
  5. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Some folk are giving Wednesday no chance including their own fans, I hope it doesn’t come back to bite us on the backside, form goes out of the window in derby games
     
  6. Redhelen

    Redhelen Well-Known Member

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    I was waiting for them to post !




    [​IMG]



    "Good evening ,Stubbs. Here, I say, what the hell do you think you're doing, that's my chair! Those are my best cigars!"



    "Forget about it Sir. There's no point. We're not bothering tonight."



    "I beg your pardon!?"



    "I said we're not bothering tonight. This place is sinking fast. No point risking getting injured in any last minute story at this stage and risking a move to another fictional message-board town."



    "But Stubbs!"



    "No Sir, we can't risk it. We have our careers to think about. The writers might have had a big storyline planned for tonight for all we know. One where I fall through the attic roof and break both legs! We can't risk it. Could throw any potential Bosman right out of the window."



    "But we have to do something. We're still contracted to Owlstalk. We're....we're obliged. We have to do a Matchday thread. It's what we're here for!"



    "We're obliged to be here ,Sir. Doesn't mean we have to try a leg."



    "Stubbs!"



    "Well if we have to be seen to be doing something.. then we'll just go through the motions then."



    "Go through the motions?! I'd have thought better of you"



    "Really ;why risk it?"



    "Professional pride!"



    "Really, Sir?!"



    "Yes, absolutely. Besides which of course, I've got a new deal for next year"



    "What!"



    "Yes"



    "What the hell! Sir...why haven't I been offered one!"



    "Under performing. You've been part of the systematic failure of the last few years"



    "What about you, you've been part of the failure too?! And I've been doing all the dirty work!"



    "Mr Hargreaves considers me one of the family"



    "What about me!"



    "Yes, but you're not a fan favourite really. I mean they're hardly likely to be on his back if you leave."



    "Oh, well that's nice isn't it, Sir, I mean-"



    "Stubbs, what's that over there?!"



    "That appears to be a burglar making away with the family jewels ,Sir"



    "Stop him Stubbs! Stop him! Why are you strolling....get after him....tackle him, why don't you tackle him!? Tackle him!"



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Barnsley

    V's

    Wednesday

    [​IMG]

    Mar 20, 2021

    Kick Off : 3pm

    Oakwell Stadium



    ---- [​IMG] ----



    • Playoff hopefuls Barnsley will host doomed Wednesday in the Championship on Saturday afternoon looking to consolidate their place inside the top six, and to be honest, will still be fancying their chances of chasing down Watford in second. Especially with us next on the menu like a well done sucking being tossed in a wolfs den.




    • The two teams head into this fixture at opposite ends of the form table, with the Tykes accumulating 22 points from their last eight league matches, in stark contrast to just the solitary point picked up by the Owls in the same period.


    [​IMG]



    • Valerien Ismael has worked wonders with Barnsley since his arrival in October, winning 19 of his 30 Championship matches. Not just that, but by doing it playing a direct, quick paced brand of attacking football. Some people don't like the "up and at 'em" approach. Not sophisticated enough. Well balls to sophistication. I'd love to see a bit of it. The thing is though. Barnsley have some "up and at em" players to implement it with at Oakwell don't they...


    • Darren Moore Must wake in the morning and wonder what the absolute hell he was thinking coming here. Or maybe not. They all do it don't they, they- Come here to this clusterfeck. The temptation is too much - The dream of being the one to turn it around. They're like a young slip of a girl. All the aunts tell them to stay away from the bad boy. But they don't. No, they all think they can come in and be the one to get him on the straight and narrow. But this club....no...this club is a proper bad boy, leaping from the back of one Waltzer to another with a tooth pick between it's teeth while being chased by the Constabulary with a warrant for murder.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    BARNSLEY TEAM NEWS

    [​IMG]



    Barnsley will pick some young fast players brought in to fit their blue print.

    It might be this team. It might not. But whoever it is, they will set up this way and come tearing at us like a greyhound from the traps.



    [​IMG]





    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





    WEDNESDAY TEAM NEWS

    [​IMG]



    Darren Moore will have to pick some players too. He might put some of them in their best positions. Or he might not. There's no formation that actually suits the whole group as they are just footballers who have been thrown together randomly.



    Some look better 3-5-2

    Some look better 4-4-2.

    Some look better 4-3-3.



    Problem is, because of the randomness of our transfer policy.


    Some look worse 3-5-2

    Some look worse 4-4-2.

    Some look worse 4-3-3.



    So Darrens just got to pick some and put them in the formation where the fewest number look like fish out of water. i'm not sure what that formation is.

    Neither is he. Not blaming him for that because no one knows. Because...I don't actually think there is one.



    So I don't know really what we'll look like tomorrow or how we'll line up.

    But based on the season as a whole probably something like this



    [​IMG]



    UTO



    I was actually listening to something the other day, and some pundit said the only way to do anything against Barnsley is to miss out their midfield and attack with their high press and just play route-one over the top right in behind them and turn them around.

    Not pretty, but the only effective way to play against them, especially if you're a struggling team. Derby did it to decent effect I've heard.



    We have gone long a lot this season. Usually out of play or onto the oppositon centre halfs head. But maybe...just maybe after all that route one practise...

    and if Rhodes can keep doing those wedge passes like his did for Windass the other day...



    No, no, I'm doing that hope thing again.

    Stop it, stop it, stop it.
     
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  7. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    Exactly mate. We'll never here the last of it if we lose today, God forbid
     
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  8. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    The SW Team formation with Bannan playing at the side of their GK is bloody hilarious :)
     
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  9. Cun

    Cunning Stunt Well-Known Member

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    The waltzer bit got me giggling
     
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  10. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    This really tickled me


    Darren Moore will have to pick some players too. He might put some of them in their best positions. Or he might not. There's no formation that actually suits the whole group as they are just footballers who have been thrown together randomly.

    I think every football fan can relate to this feeling about their team at some point, I know I can.
     
  11. Marc

    Marc Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Bang on Royston.
     
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  12. dod

    dodgey defence Well-Known Member

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    I agree it's a perfect banana skin but I can't help thinking Big Val will have a special banana skin removal shovel.
     
  13. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Like it :)
     
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  14. dod

    dodgey defence Well-Known Member

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    He'll be polishing it as we speak :D
     
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  15. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    That formation is outstanding.

    I also love this.


    Some look better 3-5-2

    Some look better 4-4-2.

    Some look better 4-3-3.



    Problem is, because of the randomness of our transfer policy.


    Some look worse 3-5-2

    Some look worse 4-4-2.

    Some look worse 4-3-3.
     
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  16. Arc

    Archerfield Well-Known Member

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    and the follow up comment that Bannan is playing far too far forward.

    I’m going to say it now, I actually have a soft spot for Wednesday. Don’t know why but much prefer them to the Blunts and Weeds.
     
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  17. Jam

    Jamo Well-Known Member

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    I enjoyed that. There's a weird humility among most of the posters in that thread, as opposed to their usual bullish, braying "another easy win against the Dingles" attitude. They seem resigned to their fate. Let's hope we help them toward that by twatting em today.
     
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  18. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    That’s so far a great thread much better quality than the average praise or grumble phoner

    Just the small concern that ever so often I’ve been certain we will lose like say Fulham away last season and we all know what happens.
     
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  19. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

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    Cant beat gallows humour.
     
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  20. ryc

    rycalshaw Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely, lets not get massive until the result is in the bag, as someone used to say " its a funny old game"...
     
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