Blimey, Badger opened a right can of worms yesterday, dinnee? Odd as they generally just dig em out the ground & suck em up like spaghetti.. Personally, I quite enjoy being a difficult, politically correct, morally adjusted, annoyingly patronising, do goody *******.
It was the speech ‘defect’ bit, that let you down mate. No harm done & a positive, interesting chat followed. It’s how we learn stuff.
I think that is a bad example Helen. As I have said before I used to spend a lot of time with people with physical disabilities when assessing /teaching driving around the time that the Blue Inva cars -13 amp plugs as most of my (disabled ) clients nicknamed them - were being phased out in favour of the Motability scheme. The genuine offer of help even when offered some of the ridiculously fit wheelchair bound types i.e. those who played sports like basketball etc. rarely, if ever, caused offence. However the manner of being asked did. Many people talk to someone in a wheelchair as if they have some sort of brain deficiency. On more than one occasion when with someone in a wheelchair I experienced people talking them as if they were a child or even worse talking to me...e.g. "Is he/she learning to drive....ooh that's nice!.. do you think he/she will manage OK ?" I usually responded with "Dunno why don't you ask him /her?" Now that was cringeworthy and embarrassing all round. In 99% of cases they just took it in their stride ... (yes I know they should not have to). One of the first things I was taught when relating to people in wheelchairs is, where possible, try to sit down. The fact that someone standing is invariably higher up than someone in a wheelchair and so is looking down whilst they are looking up creates barrier. Conversely. crouching down when it is not possible to sit i.e. leaning forward and resting hands on your bent knees inadvertently emphasises the physical differences. An ice breaker was often directness. Many times (although not every situation) it was better to not be afraid to ask "What happened?" Most found it refreshing as many people feel awkward and embarrassed when first introduced. I disagree with you feeling the need to 'defend' wheelchair users and assuming they feel "belittled" (are you sure it is not you who does) as, if you stop and think about it for a moment, in a way that is patronising in itself. My experiences suggested that most people with physical impairment are mentally well adjusted and , in many cases they are better at handling those awkward situations as many have adapted and adjusted after major trauma and change in their lives or lived their whole lives with the problems. They certainly don't need people to be offended 'by proxy'. One of my younger pupils had cerebral palsy with slurred speech athetoid movement in his arms and dragged a foot. He had a razor sharp wit and was off to university and was a joy to teach. What is really needed is more businesses to improve access etc. Major strides in law and the application of it have helped as does their introduction into mainstream education wherever possible. Other kids grow up with them and they are no longer 'hidden away' and they see them simply as classmates.
I agree with a lot of what you have posted and I'm not offended on their behalf, just relaying what I've observed. I've yet to meet someone who isn't very independent who has a physical impairment.
Good thread, lots of interesting comments. Usual ignorance, but generally positive. Not being a parent, I don’t really know what gets taught in schools.? I lived in London most of my adult life & my professional & creative career probably formed my social outlook. Doesn’t make me better or owt, just generally more aware. I’m remembering my mate Barry & his dog, Molly. Disability access officer at the V&A, when I worked there. Lovely fella, blind since birth, happily married with a brand new baby girl, when we first met. Mental QPR fan.. I learned so much, progressive ideas, particularly as the museum trustees were a bit backwards, posh & stuffy. I hate the term ‘BAME’ & only use it here for convenience- but that was a thing, as was sexual identity, and the access of ‘listening’ & ‘companion’ dogs, as well as guides for the blind. Barry was massive on this & fought hard to make it a policy, which he finally won. I would sneak into his talks, whether talking to school groups or new staff recruitments. It was always changing. That was Barry’s job & he was very good at it. In the 7 years I worked there, I saw some big changes in access & interaction, for people who might not be able to enjoy this major international museum in a ‘normal’ manner. We would take Barry to football. His beloved Hoops. He wanted to be in the noisiest end at Loftus Road. Would sing his heart out- “join in, Paulie!!” (Ok, my Mams family used to live next door). Usually a couple of us, but once just me & Barry, when I had to do the running audio commentary!! **** that was hard work!! I think a couple of London Tykes met him once, when the Reds came to play. Fortunately, Barry has other pals with him, so I could watch us lose in our end. His guide dog Molly, would normally be at home on match days. But one Tuesday night, finishing work, QPR were at home & up for promotion, I think, Barry wanted to go, but had nobody to mind the dog. So I did the honours. I didn’t really know Molly & Barry broke his golden rule about never engaging a working, disability dog, as did I. We had a nice stroll around the ground floor galleries, it’s lovely when it’s closed. Molly left a confusing present for the morning cleaners in the Cast Courts. Then we went to that lovely little park next door at Brompton Oratory. Walking a blind friend’s harnessed, identified guide dog through Kensington, is an education in itself. Chilling with this beautiful black labbie & got the Barnsley footy commentary up on my phone. It was the night when Vaz Te scored after 7 seconds. Was Half time, Barry calls me to say a V&A courtesy car is on the way to drop Molly with the wife, then me home to Highgate. Ok, Baz. The fcking V&A Bentley rolls up? Nice... Next morning, there’s a bunch of red & white roses on my desk.. Jeez, that’s long & boring. Moral of the story? Learn as you go, try to be kind, open minded & do the right thing. & stay in touch with friends.& enjoy your football. It’s only a game...
When she’s on telly doing her antique stuff. Maybe not nowadays, I think she got telled. there’s a lady sits in front of me, upstairs in the a West Stand, where I go when it’s raining. Always in the fur. I used to throw crisps at it, hoping one would stick. Then she turns out to be really lovely & friendly, so I stopped doing that. Bigger battles to be fought....