Have you ever seen the Christmas episode of The Royle Family from a few years back with the frozen turkey? If not watch it and use their example.
I was going to buy a couple of venison to try a few used back but changed my mind when I saw the price. It was two deer.
Love venison, home made red wine sauce, veggies, done as a stew in the oven. Also like wood pigeon breast. Local man who "culls" the pigeons for the landowner brought us loads last year. ..... oh and pheasant breast.............
I once had three full frozen cows, which I was planning on cooking, but they, too, were taking ages to thaw. Anyhow, this random old lady appeared, and one at a time, placed her hands on each cow and thawed them in seconds. You all may know her - Thora Herd.