Crikey. That first pick conjures an image of Poseidon rising out of the waves demanding we 'bring him a cross between Reid and Kirkwood' and up pops that little beauty. I could get lost in that bosom on a Monday evening, and not come up for air until the Tuesday (a week on Tuesday)
I've just been thinking about this, but I always quite like Emily Thornberry when I've seen her recently on the news.
If we are doing Historians Id go for Suzy Lipscomb - not sure she fits into the not tell your mates category though http://www.historyextra.com/blog/talking-tudors-sam-willis-meets-suzannah-lipscomb or more in the spirit of the OP Victoria Coren Mitchell has always perked up my interest